A letter to those moving through tough times

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I’ve struggled with some health problems for decades. They’re the sort of things that most people go their entire lives without sorting out.

I decided a long time ago that I wasn’t going to give up, no matter what. There were times when I was tempted but every time I had a loved one tell me that giving up wasn’t an option.

I was walking through hell with sometimes only an imaginary light at the end of the tunnel. About thirty years later I’ve turned that light into very real concrete solutions and I am building a life around that journey, extracting all of the good, throwing out the garbage accumulated (mental, physical and emotional) while healing the wounds. This is always a process but it’s made me stronger for it. And all of the spiritual truisms I’ve heard along the way such as “everything happens for a reason” “you never have more than you can deal with”, I have lived, experienced and embodied.

In the end I am the amazing man I’ve always dreamed of and have truly learned to love all of him.

The hope in this story is that we ALL have trials and growth opportunities to move through in life. Sometimes victory seems out of reach or can’t be seen at all. This is when we must reach out to others. To learn how to trust and connect. Most of all, if you’re going through helm you must keep going.

The other side of what you’re going through may not look like what you think but it will be GOOD! And you’re worth it. More importantly if you think that you can’t get through your trials, look yourself in the mirror and TELL yourself that you can.

Also if you think that you’re putting off your own healing journey, just begin now. The whole world can and will help you. I know this from experience from the bottom of my heart. And sometimes the help you’re looking for may be different than you thought. Stay open have hope and move forward.

I believe in all of us. I believe in me and in you too.

Sincerely,
Ammanuel.

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Creative expression, the Law of Attraction and how to become more embodied.

I think that creative expression is the key to making a good life and attracting more of what we love. 

When I first learned the law of attraction I was worried about what I was attracting and how that was affecting my life. I got so caught up in this mental space that I had to drop into my body in order to sort things out. The sorting turned into a natural rebirth of sorts. I felt alive for the first time. Truly present and embodying something deeper and more visceral than gratitude. I was truly accepting the gift of being alive. 

While my mind is still catching up with this, I love it. I channel my thoughts while being grounded in the moment as I always dreamed was possible. And now I focus creative energy into the present. 

This is actually what I want. With this I can safely choose to let go of what is coming to  me because everything that is being shared by me is completely genuine. I feel compelled to share how to do this, so here’s the how to:

The process of felt embodiment can be scary at first. We often avoid embodiment because it can hold a lot of past fear and pain, so I suggest starting slow. However the rewards are a genuine playfulness, a sense of wonder and joy. 

The first step is to become centered in your breathing. to do this place one hand on your stomach (near your belly button) and another on your chest.

Now breathe in through your nose. Draw breath moving up from your belly and into your chest. Feel it moving from one hand to the other. If you have a hard time I like to imagine my torso as a tunnel with breath moving from the bottom to the top. 

On the exhale breathe from the chest down to the belly button. Eventually you will feel this as one natural movement. 

Next you want to imagine breath moving from your feet and into your chest on the inhale. Keep your hands on your stomach and chest an feel the sensations in your body as they change (or not, that’s okay too!). It’s smart to be curious about this process. We all jump to conclusions about what we’re experiencing. Our minds do this for good reason, we classify things so that we can move through this world without getting overwhelmed. However in reality things are always changing. When you’re in a safe and quiet place it is time slow down and be curious about yoru experience. 

this allows time for you to truly be here. This is the first step to becoming embodied, being centered on the breath and investigating what you’re experiencing. A good question I like to ask is “who is experiencing all of this? this gives me a focus for my investigating and instead of finding answers I more deeply appreciate the mysteries of life. 

Sharing creativity and the Life force

I share because I have to. It’s just as essential as breathing to me. I do find a joy in people telling me that my blog inspiring, however the real reason that I create and share is a profound sense of purpose and even more importantly, I have so much to share that if I don’t I fall apart. It took me a long time to learn this…I pray that I don’t forget this ever again.

We all have creative energy that needs to be shared with the world. We need to be brave enough to do it even if our hearts are trembling in fear. I say look fear straight in the eye and say “This is life speaking through me. I’m going to be free no matter what” And as long as you share with love it will transform your fear into something healing. 

We all need to do this. It changes our minds our bodies and the world around us as well. 

 

We have to meet the universe half way (even through depression)

When I’m depressed there’s nothing harder than to do the things that make me happy. It’s as if some timeless void has taken over and my sight of infinite possibilities has been replaced by an equally powerful ability to torture myself. 

But the world doesn’t stop turning and things need to get done, so I show up anyway. Part of who I am is that I don’t give myself a break. While this is a weakness, it is also a strength. The fact of the matter is that I just don’t feel good unless I’m doing the things that I have to do feeling terrible, or otherwise. 

I’ve tried to “give myself a break” but I love hard work. I love doing things, and being incapacitated by anxiety is a sick trick. However I’m learning to just do things anyway. Sometimes getting stuff done just isn’t going to happen. The important thing is that I’m always looking for ways to change what’s going on. 

This is taking control of a given situation: the ability to respond to overwhelming circumstances with calm, patience and reasonable amount of clarity  I’ve been mastering this skill, for me in the face of terror for some time. I didn’t want to bu tits what I have had in front of me. 

We all have these things that eat away at us inside. The important thing is to master them, which is different than stuffing them away or trying to hide from them. It’s our jobs as growing human beings to grow through them and be better for it in the end. And certainly changed. 

I took a week off from blogging. I physically couldn’t move for most of the past week. Somehow I got through it. However the most important decision was this morning when I said that even if my hands fall off I’m going to write. 

And so it is 🙂