How to be more confident

One day I realized that I needed to be more confident. It’s something you almost can’t have too much of. 

So what did I do? I stood in front of my mirror and decided to tell myself that I was confident until I believed it. It worked!

The next day I decided to walk up to every woman I was attracted to and ask them for their phone number. By the end of the day EVERY SINGLE woman I walked up to would give it to me. I went on some dates. They sucked but it worked! So I’m sure you can see where I’m gong with this. It’s not just about confidence. Everything I’ve wanted to change since happened by me standing in front of the mirror and DECIDING that I was going to change. It’s really the decision that worked it wasn’t necessarily the mirror but this is how it is done. 

What do you want to change about yourself? How do you go about doing it? I’d love to know. In any event, this is how it worked for me. A decision was made and the material presented itself, I used it and it worked. Please share your experience, comments or questions!

Spirit Animals 2 (the darker side)

I was recently reminded by a friend about the other spirit animal that I had. This one was not friendly! It was a snake and what this snake was was basically an accumulation of negative energy. I have to say that if spirit animals are collective positive energy then there are some that are basically collective negative energy. I had a snake that was all negative energy built up inside of me. Don’t worry it’s not that these things are actually evil snakes, that’s just how shamans see the energy. 

Anyway, as I wrote in a previous post, I had a negative energy removal and it represented all of the trauma I had been through. This thing was keeping me on the ground and paralyzed. It’s only after the removal of the snake that I began to find a solution for this negative energy. 

As I wrote in the schizoaffective post, I have a mental illness that I am now finding a solution for. This illness had brought me through all sorts of hell and still is but I am getting closer to a solution. After we removed the snake we put positive energy back into it and began to heal the wounds retrieved my power that had been lost. 

The next thing I know I’m going back to school and am starting a business with a friend. My life has truly begun moving in the right direction. All I can say is that we don’t have to fear these dark parts. We just need the right people (who are probably already there or will appear) and while we have a healthy skepticism (just to weed out the fakes from the real ones) and to find what’s right for us, we can overcome these energies. 

The single most helpful thing is connecting with your source be that God, Jesus, Shiva, or The Maiden, it doesn’t matter. In my case, I’ve been told by multiple people who guide me that I actually would have died or gone insane if it weren’t for my consciousness that I’ve been building over the years. 

Whatever it is your going through, that light will help you. 

Thanks for reading this! If you have comments or questions, please share that’s what this is all about!

In Lieu of Delusions

I shed a bunch of delusions lately. Our lives are all laced with them. What mine let me do-shedding them that is-is realize my core spiritual beliefs. So as a blogger who doesn’t care about personal privacy or judgement I’m going to share what happened. 

I came to terms with what I thought to be bullshit (in short). While I really hope that things like spirit guides etc are true I came to terms with the fact that it doesn’t matter on a practical level. I still strive to be aligned with the highest good of all of us and to be the best person I can possibly be. 

Being a good person for me encompasses generosity, self love, love of others and a striving to connect to the divine. But after all of this time the only real almost concrete practice is the practice of the law of attraction. There are concrete things that I can do and this creates the life that I want…over time. 

I have seen crazy things appear in my life. The exact woman I’ve wanted to meet in my life, down to the way she walks, exact sums of money appearing in my bank account (once I stopped meditating on manifesting a couple thousand dollars and I found a check for that sum sitting on my kitchen table) things like that. 

It was this retaliation. That and prayer, which I’m for some reason I’m hesitant to do. It’s beautiful. I guess I take that for granted because I already have that strong connection. 

I don’t have a particualar religion but I’ve found that getting in touch with spiritual sources is very powerful but it’s something that influences my consciousness more than it affects my concrete life. 

Anyway, we all have forms of relating to the universe and I realize that I have mine other people have theirs and their all very valid and fascinating. All besides people who think it’s okay to assault abortion clinics…they’re a bit confused. 

 Sanskrit mantra works very well for me. I suggest trying it if you haven’t. There are audio and text online. Just be prepared these deities will really show up and affect your life. I guess I get a little freaked out by that which is why right now it’s all LOA for me. 
What do you use to get in touch with spirit? Do you have things that you prefer over others and why? I’d love it if you shared. This is a discussion I am fascinated by

Dealing with illness

So I am usually doing constant positive affirmations and other self care-manifesty things. I realized recently that I haven’t been dong this as much. I also haven’t been posting as much. So I’ll come clean. I’m dealing with a pretty powerful illness. I have what is called schizoaffective disorder. It’s about as scary as it sounds. Basically for me it is fluctuation moods between elation, depression and anger (thankfully I have these three mostly under control) and I see light coming out of everything and I feel it like it were some electro-magnetic field that I can feel. When I’m calm it doesn’t bother me that much but the constant feelings impede my ability to focus, to work, to drive, basically any activity at all. I’m in treatment for it so I started taking this medication and this medication cranked up the anxiety to 1000. I have been unable to do pretty much anything-literally my body stopped responding to me and I was stuck in place and I went through the cycles of rage and depression. It wasn’t fun. 

So I stopped taking it once I figured out what was causing this. I’m still dealing with the crushing anxiety from the visual/physical situation. It’s not fun. Luckily this is treatable and I won’t have to deal with it for the rest of my life. 

Has anyone else death with an illness that makes them unable to do what they want to do? It’s obnoxious! If you have or if you have questions, feel free to ask or share. 

Thanks a lot!

 Spirit Animals 

A while ago a friend asked me to write an article on spirit animals (great blog on tarot theorgangelynx). I had a lot going on at the time but late is better than never so here is my experience in Reiki finding one of my spirit animals. 
After about eight hours of learning sacred symbols and basically scaring myself by reading other people’s thoughts (this is a post for another time) as well as my teacher telling me that I needed to be more “grounded” (every spiritual teacher tells me this, quite frankly, they are well meaning but have no idea why I’m not “embodied enough) I was told to find my spirit animal. 
It turned out to be an Owl. I really like this owl. In spite of my teachers’ extolling the virtues of being “grounded” the Owl’s purpose was to help me float atop of the physical plane (the exact opposite of being “grounded”) when I was in too much pain to be present. 
The Owl is a metaphor for my intellect, which I use to traverse physical reality as it is excruciatingly painful for me due to several types of trauma. It also is usally in defiance of authority figures, even spiritual teachers. Not out of spite but out of genuine difference of opinion. 
I also like the owl because it is wise but also a raptor, a bird of prey. You don’t mess with this guy, after sitting in his tree well past dark, he’ll come out and eat your cat. It’s sort of the warrior monk of birds in that sense. 
He’s also a funny Winnie the Pooh character. So this was my spirit animal. It embodied, so to speak the part of me created for survival despite going through my own hell. 
Finding a spirit animal is a precious thing. While I don’t believe that there’s an actual spirit owl flying around me (there might be, and that would be awesome) I do have the ability to call upon this part of myself and now have a strong mental picture of what that looks like and it really helps. Visualizations are very powerful things. Almost as powerful as the very awesome owl. (They have like 270 degrees of head rotation-they will see you and your cat so beware!)