Dealing with illness

So I am usually doing constant positive affirmations and other self care-manifesty things. I realized recently that I haven’t been dong this as much. I also haven’t been posting as much. So I’ll come clean. I’m dealing with a pretty powerful illness. I have what is called schizoaffective disorder. It’s about as scary as it sounds. Basically for me it is fluctuation moods between elation, depression and anger (thankfully I have these three mostly under control) and I see light coming out of everything and I feel it like it were some electro-magnetic field that I can feel. When I’m calm it doesn’t bother me that much but the constant feelings impede my ability to focus, to work, to drive, basically any activity at all. I’m in treatment for it so I started taking this medication and this medication cranked up the anxiety to 1000. I have been unable to do pretty much anything-literally my body stopped responding to me and I was stuck in place and I went through the cycles of rage and depression. It wasn’t fun. 

So I stopped taking it once I figured out what was causing this. I’m still dealing with the crushing anxiety from the visual/physical situation. It’s not fun. Luckily this is treatable and I won’t have to deal with it for the rest of my life. 

Has anyone else death with an illness that makes them unable to do what they want to do? It’s obnoxious! If you have or if you have questions, feel free to ask or share. 

Thanks a lot!

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