Our love bloomed in the summer; we parted ways in the fall.
I recently broke up with one of the most amazing women on earth. She was sweet, nurturing, strong, loving, both gentle and powerful. She was exactly the type of partner that I was looking for.
We spent about half a year together but in that short time she helped change my life and become more myself.
What was amazing about this experience is that we left on wonderful terms and mourned not so much the loss of the other person but the loss of an incredible relationship. One that could not and should not be recreated.
The relationship was based on authenticity, trust, vulnerability, partnership and growth. I learned that I could heal by becoming more of myself. We both held ourselves accountable for our roles in the relationship as well as to being true to ourselves. This allowed us to honestly examine and talk about the dynamics in the relationship.
Both of us being very self aware, we were able to move past old patterns that held us back-from each other and from being the best versions of ourselves.
I’m writing this because real, healthy beautiful love is possible. I’m also writing this because when it was time to part ways, the right thing to do was to leave. Not to cling on for dear life. That would have ruined the beautiful thing that we created between us.
The impermanence of things, especially love is very very real and a reality that we have to accept. What I experienced was the lack of that struggle and grasping onto something that opened my eyes to the beauty of what is possible in life. I also became more aware of who I am through relationship.
I don’t know if I’ll ever engage in a relationship that intensely for a long time. Six months is a blink of an eye but in my life those six months were a gift.
The heartache that I feel is in response to how wonderful this woman was. It is because she and our relationship was so remarkable that I feel sadness. The mourning is not that of regret but of accepting that the beautiful time had blossomed and run its course.
I’m grateful for my time with her. If angels are among us, I spent some of the best months of my life with one of them and I will be forever grateful.
I wish that everyone could have such an experience. My understanding of love has changed forever. It’s possible to be truly seen and appreciated by another. To be heard, and to have the heart of another person bring you home. It’s possible for the warmth of love, an open ear, or a sweet whisper to soothe in the darkest times.
What’s incredible is that just being myself I happened to have profoundly affected her as well. It was just by being genuine and open as well as careful and respectful that we naturally gave each other what we needed.
I’m grateful to have experienced such an elegant short but sweet encounter.
What I expect and what I deserve has expanded and importantly what I am able to give to another has grown exponentially.