Intuition and the manifestation process

The thing about manifestation is that we need a certain set of skills in order to do it properly. I’m sure that many of you have read The Secret and other new age spiritual books and they’re great, and they work, and while there is a lot of problematic victim blaming, in this world they are a great first step towards harnessing our ability to create the life of our dreams.

With this said, the process becomes more complicated as we open up to the spiritual forces that allow us to channel our imagination into reality. First of all, we have to understand on an individual level: How does this actually work in the first place?

There is indeed a method to this ostensible madness. So when we manifest and open to the universe, we are using our 6th (and hopefully) our 7th chakras to connect to our ability to tap into the psychic and spiritual realms, respectively and draw the energy that we desire into our lives.

This is all well and good but in order to live a life of integrity, compassion and love, we have to do so much more than open ourselves to spiritual and psychic realms. A being who has not purified their mind, body, and emotions from the traumas in this world will both be overwhelmed by the premature opening into a greater world.

This is why so many new age devotees seem to be simply floating around in their imagination rather than sharing the world that the rest of us are in. I speak from direct experience, and am not encouraging judgement, but rather offering a path to integration.

Psychospiritual integration can start in any way and at any point in your life. It could be argued that it begins even before we are born but certainly when we draw our first breath.

My experience was that of a spiritual awakening in which my energy centers simultaneously awakened, revealed my path to wholeness and then led me to where I am now. I initially woke up in the standard kundalini awakening, with the standard symptoms of shaking, feeling a profound yet ineffable connection to all that is in the universe, with an almost physical yet etheric atonement to the life force around me.

I don’t think that I had any understanding the chakra system but certainly understood that there was an energy awakening within me that was traveling up my spine, destined to reach the top and it would come back down and that was basically what I had to do. What I learned later is that this process is called a kundalini awakening and shakti returns. There was rapture, love, connection, bliss, awakening to immense pain, trauma, and then, there was a need for it to end.

What I didn’t understand is that it does not end and what was happening-what I perceived as pain love connection, were all just energy sorting itself out. In fact, kundalini has its own intelligence. My energy centers-these balls I saw inside of me-had their own intelligence.

The process of awakening had begun and I was now merely a spectator-but instead of embracing this-I just tried to calm it down and stop it-but the crazy thing is that this energy just does not care about you! And I worry about people who are entering into this arena of growth, as I did long ago without any guidance or warning sings.

Anyway, I was seventeen, literally shaking with rapture and making ancient yogic hand symbols. There was a knowledge that something beautiful was happening and I was going to be perfectly okay and at the same time the conscious mind-the part of self that I identified with, was totally confused.

Now that part still exists. I’m conscious of it. I’m aware off it. But that is the only part that was confused. My body knew what to do. My soul knew what to do yet I was blossoming underneath the conscious sense of self-which was confused. It was confusing suffering with explosions of spirit. It thought it was failing but it was excelling at growth, I was committed for my entire adult life to allowing the flow to overtake that part of us which worries, thinks, and you know I thank it because it was trying to protect me.

The ego took medications and created seveere illnesses, it found solace in lovers and friends and adventures and demanded life or death experiences to let it know that it was truly free and alive.

I think most of all a that moment, when I was seventeen and the white light descended upon me, it waas time for that fictional sense of self to retire. To take a well earned nap.

It had guided me through the loss of my father, the depression of my mother, navigating the demands of modern society on a small child, being raped, tormented, overwhelmed….but most of all it kept me here while my soul yearned for home.

My ego thought that hte only way back home was to die. So for years I fought off the desire to end my life because I remembered how great things were before. What I was to learn is that it is my right-all of our dive RIGHTS to create a home here, on earth where our souls and flourish. And this is possible. And I’m going to dedicate the rest of my life to making that possible.

It seems to be my truth that in fact energy and our bodies are one. It’s not mind that is the problem…there is no problem. Butthe truth is that mind is a tool to be used by being. At our heart we are one with the universe. We can read books about chakras and manifestation and spirituality but all of this is to get mind to a point where it realizes that reality, true reality is an ocean in which we are both the entirety and a part…and when we transcend mind this reality is not dual but one continuous flow of energy. And embodying and being that truth is what creates the world in which we can all be truly free.


How I Beat Chronic Pain


“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough We must do”.

– Bruce Lee


We all have a nemesis. That thing that just takes you down when you’re about to do your best. That part of your life that holds you back. For me that was chronic pain.

It took me 15 years just to be able to face it. I had to work through things like PTSD, bipolar disorder and so on. Those were easy to face and look at compared to this. But 15 years ago, my body went completely numb. I couldn’t meditate, I couldn’t do yoga. I felt completely disconnected from myself, other people, my emotions; it felt like my soul was trapped in a box and couldn’t get out.

I think that we all have things that keep us from feeling life fully, from feeling refreshed in a beautiful morning or appreciating the warmth of a loved one.

The problem, for me has always been internal.. I’m very good at fighting and not so much at nurturing myself. Chronic pain was one of those things.

First I had to do a lot of research in terms of what diet I needed, and started juicing and making smoothies filled with fiber, plant-based protein and fruit. Then I experimented with jogging, yoga & weight training to see what would work best. It turns out exhausting yourself when you’re already tired isn’t very effective. Slow stretching while in burning pain is torturous. So I have to let go of some ego and accept that the elliptical is where my body needs to be.

Next I found an interesting article about the fight response and how it creates a buildup of lactic acid when we live with people we have very tense relationships with…I live with my mother. Enough said.

So I had to forgive her! I, for my own sake had to do everything that i could to fundamentally change my relationship with her. After forgiving her I realized how much I judge other people and let it go…I physically felt the anger leaving my body. I was now able to meditate for what seems like hours.

With this peace I realized that I had to change my thoughts about pretty much everything. I decided to focus on a mantra that my body was healing and I was feeling great.

When we focus on something positive we start noticing the things right in front of us that we didn’t notice before. I looked and in front of me was a bottle of pills that stop neurological pain-I hadn’t opened them because they were prescribed for something else. Long story short in 3 days I went from chain-smoking, drinking ten cups of coffee a day, being (relatively numb and bitter) to energized, exercising, living a primarily vegan diet and regularly meditating.

They say that sometimes the obstacle is the journey. This was very much the case for me. I realized that my goals in life, while wonderful, were really aimed at what I thought would make me feel the way I’m beginning to feel now.

I’m sleeping better, not perfectly, I have much more energy, it’s not perfect but I feel a hope and a power inside a renewed connection with life itself. It wasn’t about pain or numbness, for me it really was a journey of personal transformation.

It turns out that applying the things that I’ve been studying my entire adult life actually served a purpose. But in the end I feel kinda badass. To quote Bruce Lee

“Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough We must do”.




Negativity purge pt. 2

To be completely honest, getting to the point of owning my negativity pain and fear was an excruciating process.

First I had to accept that it was even there. It had been covered up be sheer willpower mixed with denial, tons of caffeine and nicotine.

Then I dared to feel it, which was its own trip. That didn’t work out well or get me anywhere.

Finally my mind refused to accept that I had the power and the right to do away with it. Just because an emotion is justified doesn’t mean that it’s good for you.

So after years of struggling with this I decided to commit to this practice. I’m giving myself as long as it takes before I end this current purge. But it’s already working! And that’s enough for me.


Gratitude, Chronic Pain & Lemonade

Good morning and happy hump day! Today I’m going to explore the concept of radical gratitude.

We all know that it’s in poor form to be ungrateful. No one likes an ungrateful guest, we are taught to say please and thank you from an early age, (hopefully) but what about our relationship with our lives?

I was on the bus this morning, contemplating my chronic pain and thought about the thousand other “adversities” that I have had in my life. I remembered my own words from my upcoming book, “The Winners Guide Through The twelve steps and thought “Impossible situations met with the appropriate tools breed Awesomeness”.

What this means is that when life hands us lemons, make lemonade. But how do we do this? Well, of course with the appropriate tools (in this case a metaphorical juicer).

I have no idea how i’m going to do this but through life I have always found, received, been given, or stumbled upon the appropriate tools to turn ostensibly terrible situations into life improving ones. So I decided that since it was a matter of time before that happened with this, I would just decide to be grateful for whatever good was going to come out of my chronic pain, ahead of time.

It’s like pre-gaming for the awesomeness that is soon to come and it is MUCH more enjoyable than feeling helpless hopeless and worst of all, a victim of circumstance.

This can be applied to anything. When we have a problem and decide to be grateful for what good is going to come of it, then we are prepared mentally to find solutions. When we are open to solutions and positive outcomes we are much more likely to find them.

Also my pain immediately diminished and I felt better. It’s like inducing the placebo effect but instead of taking a sugar pill I am actively activating my minds ability to feel better with nothing other than expectation of a positive outcome.

I’m now having a great day and I hope that you are too!

Stay Awesome – Ammanuel

The Importance of Mirror Affirmations and Telling Yourself You’re Awesome!

One day when I was younger, I was walking down the street and overheard this guys say “If you keep telling yourself how great you are you’re bound to believe it eventually.”

Something clicked and IT WAS ON!

The truth in these words made sooo much sense to me. Since then I must have read dozens of books on the subject.

An affirmation is simply a statement of your choosing that you want to believe. And you keep saying it to yourself until you believe it. It can be written down, said to yourself silently, outloud, thought or, in my experience the hardest and quickest way is saying it to myself in a mirror.

It may sound silly, and it is BUT IT WORKS! We’re all born into a world/family where we absorb beliefs by default. But a lot of these are just plain useless! Especially if you’re goal is to live an Awesome Life!

So what I did (with this incredibly simple but powerful practice) Is write down on paper all the beliefs that I didn’t like and began reciting affirmations that I DID like. And sure enough, I began to believe them and it worked!

Don’t know where to begin? I’ve created a set of worksheets that you can use to get started, and will put them up here for you to download and use for your own “self directed mind re-programming”. It’s a lot better than someone else telling you what to believe!

Affirmations are also useful in that they let you get out of negative cycles. Our beliefs determine what we experience in a number of ways. And many nasty cycles in life, relationships or work, can be remedied by a good round of (daily) affirmations. It’s hard work, but it’s also simple and powerful.

Once again, I’ll dig up these sheets and put them here. Just follow this post or subscribe to the blog and you’ll be notified once their up here. I also will have a full affirmations 101 instructions sheet.

Have fun!