EMDR

EMDR is the most powerful fast and efficient form of trauma healing I have experienced. What EMDR does is help you assimilate memories too traumatic for your conscious mind to digest on their own.

EMDR was developed by a psychologist who was thinking about her life issues while looking left and right in the central park and found, essentially, that things seemed better than before her walk. She hypothesized that this was due to her looking back and forth and thus stimulating both parts of the brain; by activating left and right brain activity while processing her problems, she was accelerating the speed at which her brain could make sense of them.

Or something like that. Anyway, it makes for a great picture and a great story. The fundamentals are the same. In EMDR, a trained therapist will wave their fingers back and forth in front of your face or use some other method that will stimulate the left and right parts of your body while they ask you a bunch of things about something horrible that happened to you.

The result is that when you’re done, the impact of whatever it is you’re treating will lighten or go away entirely. This isn’t without consequence. I’ve never done EMDR without finding myself off, or anxious for a day or two afterward. Regardless, EMDR is often the silver bullet of trauma treatment and seriously should be used more as a first line defense against PTSD but, you know humans, we are really averse to temporary discomfort in the name of long-term stability. So…there you go! That’s EMDR; if you’ve experienced this, are thinking about it or are interested in the healing process, comment below. I’ll put up a video on youtube about this momentarily (not everyone learns from the written word!) and I hope that you’re having a great week!

Healing Modalities: Internal Family Systems

One of the many powerful healing modalities I have used in my process is that of Internal Family Systems or IFS. IFS takes the psyche and turns the different parts of it into individuals with relationships-a user-friendly way of looking at our inner depths, as we are already human and know how to have relationships with other people.

While the premise of looking at our inner lives in terms of a community of beings within us sounds overwhelming, well, it certainly can be, but what’s most important is that it can be a very effective, gentle, and smooth way of healing.

Rather than dismantling the self and putting it back together, here we tend to the relationships to the different parts of the self and help our unconscious work harmoniously. In my experinece, it works tremendously well.

IFS is based around the Self, the part of us that is always awake, present, and powerful. The parallels between this and other healing modalities quickly become apparent. IFS elegantly fuses Buddhist principles of compassionate detachment, the observer, and the Jungian concepts like the vast and varied unconscious.

This is a very deep process of befriending yourself, learning about the self, and has the power to heal everything from relationships to behaviors to psychological and psychosomatic physical disorders.

There are a lot of great places to start and tons of resources out there. This is a practice that is basically free as you can do it yourself, within a group or with a trained therapist. I highly recommend using the myriad online resources and published materials out there to start if this seems interesting to you.

Freedom from Shame of Shame

One of the least fun things in life is shame!

It’s like we’re apologizing for something that isn’t even our fault. What happens when we feel shame or less than is that we hide it, and like most people, we don’t want to be hiding constantly. It’s exhausting and BORING!

What happens then is that we become ashamed of the fact that we have things we carry around, shameful secrets that are probably just normal and human, but we haven’t yet realized that it’s all perfectly okay. So we are ashamed of shame.

What do we do?

Well, the reason that shame sticks around for so long is that it is something we’ve dubbed negative that we have to expressbut there are rarely areas of life where people can publicly and freely just share those things, otherwise it wouldn’t be shame it would be stuff we’re just waiting to get off our chest. So we need safe places to share, discharge or move that energy around.

The three things that help the most with this are established areas like support groups, who aren’t going to share your secret with others. These are great in that you can meet lots of other people who have had a similar experience and in sharing, and normalizing what you have been through, will lift the burden of shame immeasurably.

The second is through a higher power, any belief systems such as an ancestor, a pet (they keep things to themselves) or any other way to let it known to the universe at large what you are experiencing. Psychologically this brings that mental energy outside of your body and your being and into the world that you experience…it is literally taking outside of your head and putting it somewhere else. Even just writing it down can have this effect. The whole purpose is to unburden you. Shame is a silencing burden. So to fight it we give it a voice and we lighten the load.

Finally, is EFT Tapping? This is the silliest and most fun way to release shame. In this practice, we tap on ourselves, generally near what people call energetic meridians but what I think is going down is that we’re stimulating our bodies, bringing ourselves into the present while saying out loud just what it is that sucks so much. 

Run a search on youtube and for EFT tapping to check this out. Emotional Freedom Technique is probably the most potent yet unused tool in my toolbox. It’s fun it’s silly and it really really really works!

There’s no remedy more potent than levity, and doing silly stuff is so frequently the elegant answer to life’s problems, especially when they feel so dark and heavy.  With that said it takes community to share with and externalizing our problems to escape the vice of shame and shame that we’re ashamed of!

It’s really that simple! The trick is just to do it and enjoy yourself! Life is far too short to be bogged down by things no matter how large they seem! Invite levity creativity and support into your life and watch the results! I promise it will be profound.

My style

This site is dedicated to sharing spiritual insight, wellness, and self-improvement. I encourage everyone to take what works for them and to leave the rest. What I have to offer is a couple of decades of dedicated spiritual growth, mindfulness practice, study in dozens of areas of psychology, mysticism and how to be the most effective person possible.

I’m interested in providing a relatively no-frills, content-rich environment to share what I’ve learned with others. Many people don’t have the access to the time and resources that I’ve been blessed with in this life-to dedicate myself to this practice.

With that said, I hope its obvious that this will be a clickbait and affiliate marketing free experience. I’m not interested in attracting people for the sake of adding to a list. What I am interested in are genuine connections, feedback on anything that helped and genuinely, being of service to others in the small way that I’m able to.

Thank you for giving this page your time. I promise to value your time and offer what I have to share.

 

How to live your best life…while being your best self

We all come from backgrounds with challenges in them. One thing that all humans have in common is a past. Our pasts our powerful. They began before our memories could fully grasp and catalog them. They inform our beliefs and assumptions about the world and this is great, as this is how we learn from experience. We don’t have to learn to drive every day because we’ve done it before and our beings adjust to the natural challenges inherent in these rote tasks.

Things become more complicated when we take into account the things that happened before we could make logical sense of the world around us and discern what was important to take away and what was not. Much of what happened to us as children simply made no sense to us, yet we were still incorporating what we thought happened into our day to day lives.

I find that this is usually one of the biggest things that holds people from living their best lives or being their best selves yet we are often unaware of this. So what do we do? Well, if you’re at the point in your life where you’re being held back by some unseen invisible wall, it’s time to start looking for answers as just giving up certainly isn’t going to get you to where you’re going.

I’ll be coming back to this over the coming weeks, discussing the things that we can do to get unstuck and living our best lives. Old memories are one, I will also cover relationship dynamics, self-talk, applied positivity, how to habitually become positive can do and proactive amongst many other tips so that we can begin to achieve the things that we are meant to without any of our internal garbage getting in the way.

I look forward to it! If you have any insights, stories or requests about any part of the healing journey, feel free to send me a message, comment below or shoot me an email @ easertospellthanmyname@gmail.com

Thank you very much! Have a great weekend!

Starting a series on The divine feminine and masculine

The two forces that make us up are the divine feminine (ascending energy) and the divine masculinity (descending energy).  I’m really not down with gender binaries, however, all of my reading has been in these terms. I can’t wait to cook up some new language around this, but, here we are! Please take this and all of my writing as something to be used at a point in time. The only rule is that you take what you like and leave the rest. 

So what about these manifesting channels? Well, we are basically moving energy from the cosmos and brining it down to earth (yang) and creating more. We are also able to bringing it up from the earth and evolving, creating more space (yin,) becoming more. 

I’ll be using these terms interchangeably with the divine feminine,male/masculine and god/Godess.

Intuition and the manifestation process

The thing about manifestation is that we need a certain set of skills in order to do it properly. I’m sure that many of you have read The Secret and other new age spiritual books and they’re great, and they work, and while there is a lot of problematic victim blaming, in this world they are a great first step towards harnessing our ability to create the life of our dreams.

With this said, the process becomes more complicated as we open up to the spiritual forces that allow us to channel our imagination into reality. First of all, we have to understand on an individual level: How does this actually work in the first place?

There is indeed a method to this ostensible madness. So when we manifest and open to the universe, we are using our 6th (and hopefully) our 7th chakras to connect to our ability to tap into the psychic and spiritual realms, respectively and draw the energy that we desire into our lives.

This is all well and good but in order to live a life of integrity, compassion and love, we have to do so much more than open ourselves to spiritual and psychic realms. A being who has not purified their mind, body, and emotions from the traumas in this world will both be overwhelmed by the premature opening into a greater world.

This is why so many new age devotees seem to be simply floating around in their imagination rather than sharing the world that the rest of us are in. I speak from direct experience, and am not encouraging judgement, but rather offering a path to integration.

Psychospiritual integration can start in any way and at any point in your life. It could be argued that it begins even before we are born but certainly when we draw our first breath.

My experience was that of a spiritual awakening in which my energy centers simultaneously awakened, revealed my path to wholeness and then led me to where I am now. I initially woke up in the standard kundalini awakening, with the standard symptoms of shaking, feeling a profound yet ineffable connection to all that is in the universe, with an almost physical yet etheric atonement to the life force around me.

I don’t think that I had any understanding the chakra system but certainly understood that there was an energy awakening within me that was traveling up my spine, destined to reach the top and it would come back down and that was basically what I had to do. What I learned later is that this process is called a kundalini awakening and shakti returns. There was rapture, love, connection, bliss, awakening to immense pain, trauma, and then, there was a need for it to end.

What I didn’t understand is that it does not end and what was happening-what I perceived as pain love connection, were all just energy sorting itself out. In fact, kundalini has its own intelligence. My energy centers-these balls I saw inside of me-had their own intelligence.

The process of awakening had begun and I was now merely a spectator-but instead of embracing this-I just tried to calm it down and stop it-but the crazy thing is that this energy just does not care about you! And I worry about people who are entering into this arena of growth, as I did long ago without any guidance or warning sings.

Anyway, I was seventeen, literally shaking with rapture and making ancient yogic hand symbols. There was a knowledge that something beautiful was happening and I was going to be perfectly okay and at the same time the conscious mind-the part of self that I identified with, was totally confused.

Now that part still exists. I’m conscious of it. I’m aware off it. But that is the only part that was confused. My body knew what to do. My soul knew what to do yet I was blossoming underneath the conscious sense of self-which was confused. It was confusing suffering with explosions of spirit. It thought it was failing but it was excelling at growth, I was committed for my entire adult life to allowing the flow to overtake that part of us which worries, thinks, and you know I thank it because it was trying to protect me.

The ego took medications and created seveere illnesses, it found solace in lovers and friends and adventures and demanded life or death experiences to let it know that it was truly free and alive.

I think most of all a that moment, when I was seventeen and the white light descended upon me, it waas time for that fictional sense of self to retire. To take a well earned nap.

It had guided me through the loss of my father, the depression of my mother, navigating the demands of modern society on a small child, being raped, tormented, overwhelmed….but most of all it kept me here while my soul yearned for home.

My ego thought that hte only way back home was to die. So for years I fought off the desire to end my life because I remembered how great things were before. What I was to learn is that it is my right-all of our dive RIGHTS to create a home here, on earth where our souls and flourish. And this is possible. And I’m going to dedicate the rest of my life to making that possible.

It seems to be my truth that in fact energy and our bodies are one. It’s not mind that is the problem…there is no problem. Butthe truth is that mind is a tool to be used by being. At our heart we are one with the universe. We can read books about chakras and manifestation and spirituality but all of this is to get mind to a point where it realizes that reality, true reality is an ocean in which we are both the entirety and a part…and when we transcend mind this reality is not dual but one continuous flow of energy. And embodying and being that truth is what creates the world in which we can all be truly free.