Freedom from Shame of Shame

One of the least fun things in life is shame!

It’s like we’re apologizing for something that isn’t even our fault. What happens when we feel shame or less than is that we hide it, and like most people, we don’t want to be hiding constantly. It’s exhausting and BORING!

What happens then is that we become ashamed of the fact that we have things we carry around, shameful secrets that are probably just normal and human, but we haven’t yet realized that it’s all perfectly okay. So we are ashamed of shame.

What do we do?

Well, the reason that shame sticks around for so long is that it is something we’ve dubbed negative that we have to expressbut there are rarely areas of life where people can publicly and freely just share those things, otherwise it wouldn’t be shame it would be stuff we’re just waiting to get off our chest. So we need safe places to share, discharge or move that energy around.

The three things that help the most with this are established areas like support groups, who aren’t going to share your secret with others. These are great in that you can meet lots of other people who have had a similar experience and in sharing, and normalizing what you have been through, will lift the burden of shame immeasurably.

The second is through a higher power, any belief systems such as an ancestor, a pet (they keep things to themselves) or any other way to let it known to the universe at large what you are experiencing. Psychologically this brings that mental energy outside of your body and your being and into the world that you experience…it is literally taking outside of your head and putting it somewhere else. Even just writing it down can have this effect. The whole purpose is to unburden you. Shame is a silencing burden. So to fight it we give it a voice and we lighten the load.

Finally, is EFT Tapping? This is the silliest and most fun way to release shame. In this practice, we tap on ourselves, generally near what people call energetic meridians but what I think is going down is that we’re stimulating our bodies, bringing ourselves into the present while saying out loud just what it is that sucks so much. 

Run a search on youtube and for EFT tapping to check this out. Emotional Freedom Technique is probably the most potent yet unused tool in my toolbox. It’s fun it’s silly and it really really really works!

There’s no remedy more potent than levity, and doing silly stuff is so frequently the elegant answer to life’s problems, especially when they feel so dark and heavy.  With that said it takes community to share with and externalizing our problems to escape the vice of shame and shame that we’re ashamed of!

It’s really that simple! The trick is just to do it and enjoy yourself! Life is far too short to be bogged down by things no matter how large they seem! Invite levity creativity and support into your life and watch the results! I promise it will be profound.

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How to live your best life…while being your best self

We all come from backgrounds with challenges in them. One thing that all humans have in common is a past. Our pasts our powerful. They began before our memories could fully grasp and catalog them. They inform our beliefs and assumptions about the world and this is great, as this is how we learn from experience. We don’t have to learn to drive every day because we’ve done it before and our beings adjust to the natural challenges inherent in these rote tasks.

Things become more complicated when we take into account the things that happened before we could make logical sense of the world around us and discern what was important to take away and what was not. Much of what happened to us as children simply made no sense to us, yet we were still incorporating what we thought happened into our day to day lives.

I find that this is usually one of the biggest things that holds people from living their best lives or being their best selves yet we are often unaware of this. So what do we do? Well, if you’re at the point in your life where you’re being held back by some unseen invisible wall, it’s time to start looking for answers as just giving up certainly isn’t going to get you to where you’re going.

I’ll be coming back to this over the coming weeks, discussing the things that we can do to get unstuck and living our best lives. Old memories are one, I will also cover relationship dynamics, self-talk, applied positivity, how to habitually become positive can do and proactive amongst many other tips so that we can begin to achieve the things that we are meant to without any of our internal garbage getting in the way.

I look forward to it! If you have any insights, stories or requests about any part of the healing journey, feel free to send me a message, comment below or shoot me an email @ easertospellthanmyname@gmail.com

Thank you very much! Have a great weekend!